literature

Schizophrenia

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LaCharmeureuse's avatar
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Literature Text

I'm scared of myself 'cause I hear voices in my head,
Telling me when I'm wrong, saying I should be dead,
The voices question my sanity until even I think I'm crazy
They tell me that I'm all alone, that no one stands by me,
They say I'm unwanted and feed on my fears,
They claim that when I cry no one sees or hears my tears,
That no one cares when I cry,
That no one will miss me when I die
When I'm angry or sad, they whisper in my ear
To eliminate the source of my pain, but I choose not to hear
Because I don't want to hurt anyone, to kill,
So then they tell me I should die, but I live through sheer will,
Hope that one day I'll wake up and the voices will be gone,
But I don't see how - they've been with me so long,
Questioning everything about me 'til I think I'm the worst,
Saying that the worst day in history was the day of my birth
The voices hurt me mentally, emotionally,
Sometimes they even hurt me physically
It's hard to live with them, to share my mind,
To feel like my brain isn't even mine,
To fight them off, to hold them at bay,
To try and be normal, push those voices away
I know I could tell someone, ask for help from them,
But that may prove to be a bit of a problem -
They may lock me up, calling me "crazy",
Tell me that I'm insane, a danger to me,
So I'll keep it inside, keep this secret shut away,
And keep on trying to live my life everyday
'Cause I'm not insane, I know what this is:
The only thing wrong with me is that I'm schizophrenic.
This poem was written in 30 minutes during a math class. Basically, I'd been reading up on psychology the night before, and I'd been thinking a lot about schizophrenia since then because it really peaked my curiosity. I couldn't concentrate during math, and when I was meant to be doing some problems, I started writing instead, trying to get into a schizophrenic's frame of mind. I showed it to my psych teacher; he thought it was pretty accurate, so tell me what you think!

This one is about a person with schizophrenia who has a strong idea they're schizophrenic and is describing it, but is afraid to tell anyone about the voices or what's going on in their head for fear of being institutionalized. So they try to live with it as best they can.

NOTE: Schizophrenia does not make anyone crazy or insane, despite people's reactions. It is simply a psychological disorder. Some people with schizophrenia are able to live pretty normally without it ever even being diagnosed, but they do hear voices, which actually NEVER say anything good, they are almost always "evil", so life can be really frightening at times. But they're not insane. I've heard people say that and I don't think it's true.
© 2009 - 2024 LaCharmeureuse
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Wolvesbaynedust's avatar
Thank you for writing this poem. Not only is it well written, but it is also relatable.